Advice

  • millymill | November 21, 2017

    Married to Medicine: Jackie & Curtis

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    Together 17 years and married for 15. Sounds like there’s a pretty solid foundation in a marriage that has lasted 15 years, right? It probably is but just like in a house if there’s an issue and you continue to ignore it eventually it can come crumbling down. The property will lose it’s value, regardless of the foundation. Jackie has been through a lot breast cancer, not being able to have children and now this. All her friends believe she didn’t deserve it because of what she’s been through in life. To be honest, those trials and tribulations have nothing to do with what is going on in her marriage now.

    Now, I do not believe anyone gets married and thinks “I am going to cheat” or “I am going to get cheated on”. I also think many men/women believe that the longer you are married the less likely you are to be cheated on. FALSE! I believe the longer you are married the harder it is to keep a solid, happy, and valuable marriage. Why? New things are always exciting, new experiences, new homes, cars, kids, etc. Well, after so many years it turns into work. You have to make time for one another, you have to continue to love and show effort. You have got to keep on gluing and building. It doesn’t stop. Ever!

    Curtis has voiced his want/needs and concerns to Jackie on several occasions. He also has supported her in everything she’s ever gone through. A big part of it is he is at an age where he is ready to enjoy the benefits of their hard work. Enjoying life alone is not fun or exciting, especially when you are married and should be doing so with your SO. Two seasons ago his wants were aired when they were looking for a new home to buy. That means for 2+ years he has been asking, begging and waiting for her to make time for him. Last season it was clear that she was only becoming busier. Just stating the known…

    Was cheating a solution? I am sure for Curtis cheating was a temporary fix, maybe until Jackie decided to lay some work off. It certainly was not a solution though! I believe he could have asked Jackie for a divorce/separation until things were where they needed them to be in their marriage. Never do I ¬†think that cheating is okay or acceptable. I do understand WHY he felt the need to cheat and did cheat. He’s been a good husband to Jackie and was not asking much. Jackie was wrong from the gate if you ask me. I understand that her job is her baby but even babies come 2nd to a husband. At a certain age you really have to slow down and enjoy life as well as one another. When your husband pretty much begs you for your time and tells you he needs it, your marriage needs it, you need to give that time to him. By no means am I saying she should have quit her job but she should have definitely went over her list of priorities.

    The problem many relationships face is lack of communication, lack of understanding one another, lack of addressing the issues and really fixing them. Many times couples(married or not) will argue and voice their issues with one another and never work on a game plan to fix the issues. It gets brushed under the rug until the next argument. Never ending cycle. Eventually someone gets fed up and well, this happens.

    Outside looking in it is really easy to feel bad for the women in such situations. I don’t believe any 100% happy man or woman will cheat on their SO. If they do 9 times out of 10 something in their marriage was off.

    What is your view on the situation? Who was wrong in your eyes and can they fix it? Comment below and let me know!! Let’s discuss.

    For the actual

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  • millymill | January 4, 2017

    Wasting to Saving Money

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    This year I want my family and I to focus on smart spending and even smarter saving. We, as well as you like to waste money. Waste!! Throw it out!! Literally, spending it before making it. Credit cards allow us to do that and keep us as slaves to pay them back. Why do we spend what we do not have? Well, at the moment it’s almost like it’s free. Then the bills roll in and we question every purchase we ever made. Especially because most of the time we spend money on THINGS the excitement and the rush is long gone by the time it’s time too pay the money back.

    In 2017 I will not use any money that I do not have in hand. IF I do it will only be for an emergency.

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    Let’s talk about throwing money out.

    *Clothes that we want and wear once or twice.

    *Coffee that we buy for $5!! Yes, one cup for $5 because I went to Starbucks the other day and got a cup of coffee and a sandwich and paid $10. I could have literally made a whole breakfast meal with that money. Coffee included.

    *Fast food, take-out, dinner dates(restaurants), etc.

    *Even things for the kids can put a whole in your pocket. Don’t take your kids with you to the stores unless you have intentions of buying them something. I usually tell my daughter “We are not going for you today. You are just tagging along”. I also try to avoid the toy/kids departments when she is with me.

    Saving this year will be a must. By saving I don’t mean stacking money where it’s just sitting there. I mean I will no longer spend on things that I can go without. I will apply that money to our dept and once that’s down we can focus on saving. Better yet investing and growing it.

    I will keep you all posted on this journey since it is very new for me. Perhaps I will post monthly updates.

    What do you throw your money away on? How do you plan to get it under control? Please comment below and fill a girl in!!

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  • millymill | December 22, 2014

    New Year’s Resolution

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    10 More days left in 2014!! How crazy is that? Even though a lot has happened it still feels like it all happened so quickly! Anyways in about a week we will start to see the posts stating “New Year New Me”, “This is my Year”, “My New Years Resolutions is…”. I have never been a New Year’s Resolution type of gal. When I feel like I need to change something I do it asap! Some people are different and they really view the New Year as a fresh start, where I just see it as another day.

    Some things that I have changed this year were…

    When having Ava I told myself I needed to manage my time wisely, stay organized, & I wanted to make sure I had some “ME” time.

    Well, anyone that knows me knows when it comes to my days they are ALWAYS planned. During the weekend I break down everything I need to do that coming week and kind of mentally schedule everything. For example Fridays I like to come home and clean the basement, first floor and at least one bathroom. That way my days off are pretty much opened for me to spend with Ava and when she naps it’s me time. (She is on a very strict schedule) Every night 6:30 to 8:30PM is Ava’s and mine play time. No TV, no phone(unless someone calls). Once she is in bed that’s when I get some cooking done and maybe slip in an hour of TV time. Last if I am reading a book I will try to get a few chapters in once I am in bed. I can honestly say I have learned how to manage my timely wisely. I have time for almost everything and that’s because I plan ahead.

    When we lived at the apartment we had so much stuff and so little space that organizing was not an option. It was sort of put things where they are easiest to find when needed. During the move I told myself that I had to make an effort to organize the house and keep it that way. Well, in the process I have developed OCD but I rather have it this way. They say it takes 30 days to get into a habit and they are not lying.

    Some things you may want to change are… (Things I’ve seen/heard often)

    1. Managing Time.

    2. Exercising Regularly.

    3. Spending QT with family.

    4. Traveling.

    All of those things are ways to improve yourself and your life. Also all those things are time consuming. First thing you have to do is go down a list of things you do on the daily and see where you can cut your time and dedicate it to something else. For example I am aware that most people now days spend lots of time on the internet, phones, or watching TV. These are not MUSTS. Wake up an hour earlier than you do and use that hour to exercise(If that’s your plan). Set up a savings account specifically for vacations and make sure it pulls out from your check weekly/biweekly, that way you won’t even feel it. Keep a schedule and write everything in. Remember 30 days makes it a part of your permanent regime.

    Have a fantastic New Year!

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    Photo Credit: Pnterest

     

    Cheers to 2015!!!

    Let me know what your New Years Resolution is.

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