Love & Relationship

  • millymill | September 1, 2015

    1st Stage of a Relationship

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    It takes a lot of courage and trust to look past what you’ve been through, and trust someone new not to put you through it again.

    There are stages in everything when it comes to life. Love relationships are no different. There are 5 stages to a successful relationship.

    First stage is “TALKING”.

    OFF TOPIC: Before we get into this I have a question for all the single Ladies & Gents. Where do you meet good men/women? What are the first things you pay attention to?

    Talking means getting to know one each other, having butterflies, investigating(Social Media Allows us to do this), background checks, and deciding where it will go. The first chapter and the last chapter of every book are very important. No matter what you do you will always remember the beginning and end. This stage could be the most fun but also very crucial. A lot of people think “Well, I am not that deep in so I have no problem walking away.” Scary part of this is usually it’s said over something very small and very fixable. A lot of people will lose someone with a lot of potential over something stupid because their concern is not being played, hurt, or taken serious.

    This stage will NOT determine your entire relationship but you have to remember there’s no sense of wasting time or trying to pretend to be someone you are not. If you are crazy let it be known. If you are insecure, let it be known. If you have a solid life plan and you don’t plan on changing it, let it be known. Be honest!

    This stage is pretty much the first chapter of a a very long book. If that’s what you are looking for. If not then this will be the first and last chapter

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    My relationship 411. My Stage 1.

    My husband and I must have had theeeee longest “talking stage” in the world. We talked on and off for about three and a half years. There were lots of ups and downs but we were also kids. We met at the age of 14 but we must have known we both had potential and knew there was a lot of work to do. There were trust issues, there were being young and dumb issues, not knowing everything, direction issues and I am sure there’s a lot more that I have forgot. There were also fun and exciting times in this stage, butterflies, late night talks, falling asleep on the phone with one another, the lost goes on.

     

    Point is, life is what you make it. You want something to work you work at it.

     

    Stay Tuned!

    4 More Stages Coming Soon.

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  • millymill | May 13, 2015

    Finding Love in your 20s in 2015

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    I’ve been thinking, I’ve been thinking…

    How do you find love in 2015? How do you love?

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    Last week or so my friends and I have had a lot of conversations about finding the right man/woman. In the last few years anytime I have ever spoke to anyone in their 20s about relationship I have never heard “I want to fall in love”. I know that every man and woman in their 20s want to fall in love one day and live happily ever after. BUT! The real deal, life, and reality cloud love.

    What do I mean by that?

    Well I am 25 and most of my peers are either a bit younger (22-23) or older (27+). At this age most of us somewhat have found our path. Most have gotten some sort of a degree and have their foot in the door at a job which could potentially be the career. Everyone has a car and most have their own place to live.

    Here is where things get sticky. So here they are at age 25(play along) with an apartment, a car, and education, a job and obviously the only thing missing is someone to fall in love with and take the rest of their life on with. The search begins. Here is where the problem comes in! People are no longer searching for love they are searching for a business partner. Yes! You read that right, a business partner. First thing anyone asks is “What do you do?”, “What do you want to do?”, “What do you have to offer?”. All great quality questions but if the answers don’t match what you already have they no longer qualify. (Don’t get me wrong if a man/woman has all that and a great personality and you two click GO FOR IT!) You didn’t even give them a chance to present who they really are inside. You probably left a few good men/women behind because they didn’t meet “ALL” of your standards. Now you go on and complain how the man/woman you’ve met with a good job, good sex, nice car, good looks isn’t making you happy. I am here to tell you the job, the money, the house, the looks are not going to do anything for you but make you money and make you look “good”.

    Everything that glitters isn’t gold. Don’t forget that!

    I am not in the dating Game and have not been in a really long time and I am very happy with that. I found my other half before I had a real job, before I had a degree, and before I could look for someone to match my material life. I found LOVE before I had anything. If my home was to burn down tomorrow I would be completely OK because with love and a solid relationship you can always build another home.

    I am here to tell you look for someone on the inside. Now I am not saying fall in love with a bum and take care of him/her. What I am saying is it’s Okay if they are still living with their mama, and are catching a bus to work/school. It’s okay if they drive a junky car. Find someone who you wouldn’t mind being broke with, find someone who will make you forget about the rest of the world when they are in your presence. Find someone with potential! If there is potential the possibilities are endless and there is nothing like BUILDING a life together.

    “The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.”

    Marilyn Monroe

    Stay be-you-tiful!
    Stay You!
    Need Advice don’t hesitate
    kilishayeva@yahoo.com ADVICE in the Subject line.
    Talk to you Soon!
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  • millymill | April 24, 2015

    Trucker’s Wife

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    Alrighty now! This post has been in the works for sometime but it’s so much that goes into this job and life i just didn’t know where to start.

    It isn’t for everyone that’s for sure! A trucker’s wife has to be an independent, strong, and busy woman. You have got to be ready to spend holidays, birthdays, dinners, and every other event alone. You have got to be able to raise your child and take care of your home alone. You have to understand that your husband is sacrificing a lot more than you are. He sleeps in the truck anywhere and everywhere. He is out on the roads no matter the weather. He is missing out on a lot of things as far as life goes because he is out there making money for his home.

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    It takes two strong and happily married(or a happy relationship) to make it work. Trust, communication, understanding is very important. Your relationship turns into a long distance relationship right before your eyes. If you have trust, communication and understanding then you will be just fine on this journey.

    By no means is it easy. You get invited somewhere for the day/weekend/dinner/lunch and you think you both will make it until Friday comes around and you find out he will be out on the road working. What can you do? You signed up for it and knew that things like this could happen. Now you have to stay up late Friday night packing everything up clothes, dog’s stuff, your stuff, baby’s stuff, stroller, etc. You really turn into a single woman on these days. Sometimes you do all this with anger thinking “I am married, I have a husband, a man in my life who should be packing the car up in the morning.” You start cleaning your house on your day off and have no help because your husband is working and then BOOM you remember “Its Ok the laundry is waiting for him when he gets back…lol.” Last, you prepare to relax/bum out on your days off because you don’t think he will make it home and BAM “I’m coming home” text comes in with a bunch of plans that you are included in. Most times you gotta suck it up because he is barely home… Sometimes it is Okay to say “nope don’t include me”. Then quickly reality kicks in and I realize it’s so much harder for him to miss our daughter’s firsts, parties, and just a normal life.

    It takes time to get used to the way things are but it has it’s ups as well. In my opinion a lot of women lose themselves once they get into a relationship. Well, an awesome thing about this is you have all this time to be yourself. Do things that you enjoy. For example I use this time to spend with my friends, family, do my DIY, blog, vlog, etc. Now when my husband comes home I am free and available to spend the time with him. Things get a little sticky because he maybe home for a few, I mean two days and he has to spend time with his family(wife & kids) and then try and still maintain some sort of a life outside of his home and work. Be patient and try to be understanding. He has to make time for his other family(siblings,aunts,uncles,parents,friends etc) somewhere in the mix and maybe even a hobby.

    I have learned to love being a truckers wife. Yes it does get lonely some nights but as long as I have things to take care of, a job to go to and kids to care for it is all good. It makes me miss my husband and appreciate him more. All the time spent together turns into quality time because it is so minimal. One thing that is very important is making sure the kids involved understand why daddy isn’t home every night and to keep their dad a part of their everyday life. Whether it’s talking to them about him, video chat, or phone conversations.

    As long as there is a solid plan and an understanding of what goes on out there on the road and what goes on at home it will make your daily lives that much easier. Know how long he has to stay and work at this job. Is he there until all the kids go to school? Is he there until you finish school? Is he there until you two save enough to start a business? Just have a plan and BOTH understand the plan. Talk about everything! Don’t bite your tongue because when you two are apart that issue will only keep you apart. Be honest, understanding, and stay happy!

     

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  • millymill | March 25, 2015

    Understanding Why Men Cheat

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    I understand I don’t support or agree with it.

    Men are visual creatures. Not to say that it’s all about looks but a man wants something nice to look at. A man wants a woman that he knows other men would love to have. A woman is supposed to be a great mother, a great house keeper, and most importantly a good wife.

    A good wife to a man is someone who keeps the house clean, a hot plate of food on the table, children well taken care of, supportive, caring, loving and of course sexually pleasing to her husband. There is one little detail that can fix and prevent almost any and every problem in a marriage and it’s called COMMUNICATION. If you are having sex on the regular, your bills are paid and your communication is on point you can say your marriage is successful.

    Now let’s get to it…

    1. Cheating/sex is a drug. It’s a high some men get and just like any other drug it’s hard to recover from. It’s exciting and new and adventurous because it has to be a secret.

    2. The wife may no longer be attractive to him. This usually happens because she gets so caught up in life, kids, home, HIM, she forgets herself. She forgets that she still has to put the effort in to herself as she did before all the responsibilities came along. After all he fell in love with who she was.

    3. Sex is not the same. Not enough. Boring.

    4. Communication. There are a lot of problems that could be in the picture but no one is voicing them. Therefore it’s very easy for a man to go out and have an affair which to him is like therapy. After he’s done he comes home and feels okay. No reason to argue because in his mind I got my drug for the day, I am good!

    5. Comfortable. Some men and women get so comfortable in their life that even if they are unhappy they rather stay together and enjoy themselves on the outside with someone else. They may stay married for the kids (as way too many people do). Not realizing kids feel the disconnect and you don’t want them to grow up thinking that’s what a marriage is supposed to be.

    6. Love & Support. Wives do tend to nag a lot and no man wants to constantly deal with it. Usually a man wants to know a woman got his back, if he falls she can carry him and support him. Love has to be shown one way or another. When this is not the case at home he can easily find a woman who will listen and show support because in all reality it’s easy for her to do when those problems don’t involve her. She’s the “solution”.

    7. Attention. Men are like babies. They want attention, lots of attention. Emotional. Physical. etc.

    8. Weak women help men cheat. If a man knows his wife needs him, depends on him, can not handle life alone, this helps him enjoy himself on the outside. All while having a home, kids, wife, etc. He is having his cake and eating it too.

    How to Fix it:

    1. Be strong! Speak up when you feel like something is not right. You can fix it before things go too far. Don’t be afraid to fight for your marriage. Yes it may not get better right away but eventually it will. If you don’t speak up consider your whole life ruined.

    2. Take responsibility. A SMART man will not cheat on a good wife. There has to be something you have done wrong. You pushed him away, you have become sloppy, lazy, careless, dependent. Pull yourself together and get the woman he fell in love with back.

    3. Dedicate time to your marriage. Get your groove back. Date nights!

    4. Work together not against one another. A marriage is one and is a team. Do not allow anyone on the outside break you.

     

    If you have problems get to work. If you don’t well, keep up the good work.

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