Spoon Full of Ava

  • millymill | March 15, 2016

    Mommy Tantrums

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    My daughter is my world! She has been such a good child since the day we brought her home. Every transition has been so smooth and without a glitch. Now, we are creeping up on her Birthday and I am not going to lie. Everyday has not been easy or smooth but each night I am grateful and we are happy. Let’s just step into one of very few tantrum days.

    This last weekend was rough on our schedule. Saturday we went to my cousin’s house for dinner and to hang out so I made Ava miss her nap. at night she was exhausted to a point where she didn’t even want to try to go to sleep and she is a sleeper! Loves her naps, bedtime, relaxing, etc. She was hysterical, cried about everything, her teddy lost his shoe and she cried. I went to turn the water on and she cried. I was just as tired from the ride, hungry, and just wanted to lay down. When mom and baby are both cranky that right there is a recipe for disaster. Finally I washed her and got her in bed through tears a story and about 10 hugs.

    It was our luck that at 2 am the time changed and we lost an hour of sleep. I am very anal with her schedule so I had to get her up and ready. Up until her nap she was an angel. While she went to the park and played with her dad I tried to move her clothes and all her stuff into her new bedroom. When she walked in her eyes, hand, mind was all over the place. She was excited and wanted to try things on, look around for where things were being put, etc. Everytime I said it was time for her nap she would say “Patom”(means later in Russian). We don’t do much negotiating when it comes to eating and sleeping. I was not feeling that response.

    Just like her I was tired and needed a nap and was hungry but I still had so much left to do on this Sunday that all I could think about was getting her to sleep. I began to get frustrated with her as she cried and was hysterical just because she didn’t know whether she was tired or wanted to play.Not to mention the entire time she was just hugging me and not letting me lay her down. Any other time I can hug her for hours, lay with her and read to her but my mind was else where. I just wanted to get everything done and have sometime to relax but it was just becoming further and further from reality. I ended up yelling at her telling her to lay down and cut the crying out. I rarely yell at her in such a way so I think it scared her and she started crying even worse yet still hugging me.

    At that point I was defeated! I just felt terrible because my house work, her closet and all the other junk wasn’t going anywhere. Yet my soon to be two year old won’t need me forever and the few minutes/hours that she wants me to hug her and play by her rules I should! I just got emotional and cried right along with her while she hugged me and we rocked back and forth on her chair until we were both OK. I talked to her and apologized for yelling and explained to her my frustration and then she agreed to go to sleep.

    I strongly believe parents and kids go through these stages together. For that moment I was having a temper tantrum because time was out of my hands. I was losing control of my schedule for that half an hour and my mind/body just couldn’t handle it. Those moments teach us and mold us into better parents. It’s okay to sit down and cry with your baby sometimes. It’s ok to skip house work to spend some time with people you love.

    Mommies it’s ok! We will feel guilty. We will be exhausted. We will skip story time and that’s OK. Let’s leave it here…tell me about a time you’ve had a time where you both had tempter tantrums at the same time.

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  • millymill | March 11, 2016

    Mom Shaming

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    For the first time in 2 years a mother TRIED to mom-shame me. I can promise you she regrets it now but it doesn’t change how she pissed me off for a slight second.

    My daughter is having some sort of an eczema reaction(in my opinion), we will be going to a dr to get it checked out. Being as though it’s late after speaking to a nurse I posted a photo in a Facebook mommy group and you wouldn’t believe the comments that started rolling in. The photo is literally of my daughter’s arm pit and maybe a 3rd of my nail. The photo is very cropped so it’s literally nothing else that you see.

    Well, a lot of moms were giving their opinions on what it could be. Which is what I asked for and was totally okay with what they thought or had to say. I am very well aware that most moms are not doctors and will not know what it is. I wanted to hear from moms that have seen this on their own children. Ofcourse some of these “opinions” were on another level but it comes with the territory and I just ignored what I didn’t care about.

    Now! Here comes this “fabulous”, “perfect”, “new mom” that says “well obviously this mom is more concerned about getting her nails done than taking care of her child.” Lord have mercy! First and foremost you can’t even tell if my nails are freshly done or have been on for 3 months. (They are a little over a week old) Second, IF I didn’t care for my child I wouldn’t ask what it was and probably just spend my days normally while my daughter had a reaction to something. I started to explain myself to this girl and quickly deleted it because I don’t need to explain myself to anyone.

    We all care for ourselves and our children differently than the next mom. I do not believe I am better than a mom who is in sweats, not working, and doesn’t have her nails done. I don’t think I am better because I still try to take care of myself. I do think we all have choices to prioritize our selves along with our children. I have noticed a lot of moms who have given up taking care of themselves try to talk down to moms that do take care of themselves. Then this girl says “oh great you rather work than care for your own child. I decided to stay home and breastfeed.” Little does she know my daughter was breastfed until she was a year old. All while I kept a full time job and took care of myself and my wifely duties. Who am I to tell her I am better? From doing some snooping her daughter is no more than 6 months old and she’s not married. Then she says “I see how happy your family is! Your profile picture is of just you.” That made me giggle, I pray for girls to find the happiness that I have. I pray girls like her get to experience love from their families like I have. I pray this girl gets out of the negative state of mind as fast as she can.

    I ended up removing the picture because it was 5 am and I refused to go back and forth with a “Facebook Gangster” when I have to be up for work in a few hours. I write this post to all moms! If you care about your child and you care about your parenting then you are already a great parent. We all have our own ways and our own paths. If I walk my path in heels and you walk yours in slippers it doesn’t mean I am better or you are better. It means that we have different parenting styles, goals, plans. It does not change the amount of love and care we have for our kids.

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  • millymill | March 10, 2016

    2 Years Old Already?!?

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    Almost 2 years ago our grasshopper was born. These last 2 years have flown by unbelievably fast. We are expecting baby #2 and our baby is turning 2! This last year I have learned a lot about myself and about life all through our daughter. She has taught me patience, she’s teaching me to go with the flow(the hardest lesson thus far), she’s taught me forgiveness and most importantly how to love unconditionally.

    She, herself is a character. Her personality is out of this world. Her brain is a sponge that takes in every single thing in. She observes everything and everyone. I like to step back and watch her observe people and things. Right now Russian is her 1st language but she understands English very well. Baby girl loves to dance and listen to music and loves family! Which is the most important thing to us. Face-time with her great aunts, great gmom, and cousins is an everyday thing. Books and stories are her favorite out of the million and one toys she has. Bed time stories are a must before her naps and bed time.

    Most bittersweet thing about this birthday is, it’s her last birthday being the only child. I am ecstatic for her to have a sister and celebrate all good things with. I look forward to her sharing her good times with her sister and can’t wait to help them build an unbreakable bond.

    Lastly! When she was born I told myself I will take professional photos pf her every holiday and birthday. Well, we tried out a newborn photo-shoot and we were not impressed. It wasn’t expensive but it was defenitly something I could have done myself. Therefore I started taking photos of her all on my own and in the convenience of our home.

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  • millymill | January 13, 2016

    TTC Baby #2 & Week by Week

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    Well! My life is a big fat planner. Everything that I have accomplished in life has been planned from the age 13. I’ve always known I wanted to be married by 24, have my 1st child at 24, finish school by 24, be settled by 25 and comfortable by 30. I have also had a very specific plan to have kids since i want 4!! Yes, I want 4 kids! Will I actually have 4, well only time will tell. I hope we can afford and grow our family to whatever number we want and whatever number is meant for us. That bring me to this… I wanted to get pregnant in August because I just did not want to be pregnant in the summer. Well, things don’t always work out as planned if God doesn’t want it for you. I actually believe I had a chemical pregnancy because I had a few very faint positive tests. Anyways, it didn’t go as planned. Now being as though my husband is an OTR trucker it’s hard to DTD on specific days. This is all new to me because with Ava we were just like “Okay, today is the day we will make a baby” and BAM! A few days ago I told Curtis “I don’t want to try anymore. If it’s meant to happen it will happen.” WELL!!!! I am 8 dpo, i have been so hungry, my breasts are soar…sooo I decided to take a test (or 10). Which are all coming out POSITIVE. Faint, but they are 100% positive. _________________________________________________

    Aunt Flow was supposed to arrive on October 25th. Well, it came and went and at the moment I am 12 Days late OR 6 weeks pregnant. I have had one appointment where the doctor just basically confirmed the pregnancy. Up until yesterday I haven’t had any strong symptoms of pregnancy. All my symptoms were present before aunt flow was due. After I actually missed my period the symptoms were gone. There were a few days where I was just annoyed and frustrated. I notices i had no patience with Ava and everything was irritating me. That lasted about 3 days. Now, yesterday(November 5th) was the first day i had nausea and an extremely bad head ache. Over all I have to say so far so good! _________________________________________________

    By the time you all read this I am more than likely at the end of my 1st trimester. Very few people were told just because I have had a miscarriage before and wouldn’t want to go through telling people and then telling them “nevermind, I misscarried.”


    _Week 8

    I had my 2nd appointment. They did blood work and actually scheduled me for an early ultra sound. Reason being for that early ultrasound is because I have been having pains in my right ovary(so i think). I felt this pain when I had a cyst so it did concern me. I told my doctor and she did an exam and didn’t seem too concerned. Anyways, other than that I’ve been pretty good as far as symptoms go. Minimal nausea which was my biggest fear. Just this week I’ve started feeling sleepy in the afternoons by sleepy I mean IF Ava goes to sleep so do I. I noticed my self becoming much more calm and relaxed. I remember being pregnant with Ava I was so nervous and paranoid. I didn’t drink coffee, have seafood, or eat lunch meat. This time around I am just going with the flow. I am having everything but in moderation. I plan on telling everyone on December 26th. My parents will have their birthday dinner and will have all of our family there. I will probably take photos of Ava and frame them and gift them to everyone. In the photo will be the announcement.

    Stay TUNED for that!


    __Week 15

    I know I am not consistent but that’s because this pregnancy has been so different than my 1st. My first pregnancy something new was happening every week. This time around my first 14 weeks were very smooth and different. Not this week has been complete hell! I have had migraines to the point i had to vomit. I have had to throw up if I don’t eat as soon as I am a tad bit hungry. Also, I have just been exhausted!

    I have also been feeling a bit guilty. When I was pregnant with Ava I was so excited and focused on my pregnancy. This time around I feel like it’s just flying by and i am not paying it any mind. 🙁


    Ladies how did you feel during your 2nd pregnancy?


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