Spoon Full of Ava

  • millymill | July 29, 2015

    Our Miscarriage Before Our Biggest Blessing.

    Share on Facebook13Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone

    dc0b7cabd493235bc8bd46cf66c1b4ef

    October 2013.
    I’ve already had one appointment at 8 weeks and it went pretty well.
    I was 10 weeks pregnant. Woke up in the morning took Curtis(my husband) to the airport and headed into work. Around noon I got these really sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I headed to the hospital because the pain was not going away and felt like it was only getting worst. They sent me for some tests and did an ultrasound. Until this day I swear I heard a heartbeat but maybe it was wishful thinking. They took me back into the ER room they assigned me and a lady Doctor came in. She said “There are 2 things wrong, the pain is from a cyst that you have on your ovary. The cyst is so big it is pushing your uterus over. The cyst has to be removed. Second thing, you have miscarried which looks like twins, you miscarried about two weeks ago but the pregnancy has not left your body yet.” I remember her saying that to me and my eyes just filled up with tears. I am not good at expressing my feeling out loud especially to those I don’t know. I said “Wow, thank you for letting me know, but now what?” She said we can have everything surgically removed but in a few days.” My cousin was with me in the room and she asked “Are you ok?” I really wasn’t sure but my response was “I will be.”

    They discharged me and sent me home with paid meds which didn’t help one bit. I told Curtis everything via text because I just couldn’t talk about it and didn’t really want to. I remember sitting in CVS’s parking lot and crying thinking “What if I can’t have kids? How unfair would that be to Curtis? What did I do wrong to cause this miscarriage?” I remember texting him back and forth just expressing everything and the worst part was he was far and there was really no point of him flying back home to be with me because there was nothing he or I could have done. All types of thoughts crossed my mind. My two Best Friends and MIL came over that night just to see if I was okay. By the time they came I had pulled myself together, got my crying out of my system and decided to throw my hands up and believe that this is all in God’s plan. For almost a year I would say to myself “Today I would have been 4, 5,6…9 months pregnant”,”The baby would have been born now” etc.

    I remember before getting pregnant I had a dream which is so clear to me until this day. I was in the hospital and I just gave birth, one of my cousins was holding my baby. It was a girl. A beautiful light skinned, dark curly haired girl. Now the part that stood out was, in the dream I wasn’t prepared for her, I remember searching formula isles and trying to find the right formula to give her. I am no dream interpreter but Curtis and I really were not ready for a child during that pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage. We would have made a way but we were not ready to give our child the world and everything he/she deserved. For the next few weeks I would have people ask me “How’s your pregnancy?”, someone even touched my belly without knowing what happened. I am a strong person and I was able to hold uo and tell them “no, there’s no baby. I miscarried.” At the time it was hard to say and I really didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. I erased it from my memory for a long time because it was just easier that way.

    July 5th 2014 we decided to try again and once we knew we were pregnant I was so scared to share the news because I didn’t know what the pregnancy would be like. God blessed us with a Beautiful, Funny, Loving, Amazing baby girl. I appreciate her a 10000% more because of what I’ve went through.

    My reason for talking about it after so long is because I know miscarriages are very common. Some with no reason behind it and others with medical reasons attached. They are both hurtful because it is a loss. Women are more vocal about their experiences, their pain, their state, etc. Where men close up and keep their feeling bottled up.

    Don’t be afraid to talk about it. Cry about it. Just remember time heals all wounds, maybe not all the way but it does. If God takes something/someone from you he has a bigger blessing coming your way.

    Feel free to e-mail me if you are in need of a listening ear. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than the ones closest to you.

    Share on Facebook13Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone

  • millymill | June 3, 2015

    Memorial Day Weekend

    Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone

    11291748_10152768327601493_1776358237_n

    I rarely have a week day off. I rarely have a day where I do NOTHING around the house. I knew I wanted to enjoy myself with Ava and friends/family. Curtis had to work this weekend so we were flying solo. Saturday we spent the day with our cousins. Great time! Sunday we spent the day with my parents and my girl friends. Last, Monday we went to this really cool park called Spruce Street Harbor. It’s really cute but was packed!! I went with my cousin and her kids and my gfs met us there. I loved it. One it was time away from house work, and work in general. Two I kept Ava up and she did pretty good. I had an amazing weekend which is making me look forward to this summer!!

    11355417_10152768327546493_2131616212_n11269885_10152768327491493_1207616967_n11358609_10152768327426493_334781111_n11289776_10152768327356493_462490967_n11304293_10152768327306493_1214748711_n11350115_10152768327671493_1419367350_n 11310936_10152768327696493_1006173612_n

    Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone

  • millymill | April 13, 2015

    Ava’s Lovely Gifts.

    Share on Facebook7Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone

     

     

     

     

     

     

    DSC_1882

    From Mason, Ilona & John

     

    I am still trying to get through all of Ava’s gifts. Everything is appreciated and we are so thankful for the time and gifts that were given to us during Ava’s Birthday Celebration month. LOL She got lots of clothes, toys, gift cards, cash, birthday cards, etc.

    We are not and never have been materialistic people. The best gift that Ava has ever received from our family and friends is their love & time.

    Thank you to everyone who thinks of her, loves her and make time for her. Again thank you for all the gifts.

    DSC_1881

    Teddy: Uncle Rodney (Ava’s dad’s brother) Doll: Ava’s Baby Sitter – Lana

    She loves this elephant and has learned how to climb on him and ride him in a week!! πŸ˜€

    DSC_1880

    Mikey

     

    DSC_1861

    Caitlin & Myla & Nicole & Simon

    DSC_1857

    Caitlin & Myla & Gammy

    DSC_1859

    Aunt Nicole’s Mom

    DSC_1858DSC_1851

    DSC_1856

     

    DSC_1855

    Ava’s Uncle Simon (mom’s brother) & Aunt Nicole

    There were a bunch more gifts from Simon & Nicole but we couldn’t wait and had to wear them!!! πŸ˜€

    DSC_1890

    Gammy & PopPop (Dad’s parents)

     

    DSC_1849

    Asya & AJ

    I was soooo excited that my grandmom was able to get Ava these books. It is really important to me that our children know the Russian language and books are a great source of education.

    DSC_1874

    Great G-Mom (Ava’s Mom’s Gmom)

    k2-_88bcbf8c-dd1b-4a7e-80d3-7558e727245b.v1

    Grandparents (Ava’s Mom’s parents)

    DSC_1886

    Share on Facebook7Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone

  • millymill | April 8, 2015

    Ava’s Fancy Party

    Share on Facebook4Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone

    The fancy party took place at my parents home and they cooked up a feast. It was kind of like Thanksgiving in March. They have been amazing when itΒ  comes to Ava. My mama cooks for her all her organic soups, cottage cheese, fruits, etc. My dad comes in every morning to play with her and she is obsessed with them. I love it and appreciate it more than I could ever express. Anyways here are some photos…

    11139872_10152666766986493_1955688225_n

    Ava with Her Great Grandmom

    11118187_10152666767101493_848306492_n

    Her 2nd look. πŸ˜€

    11121664_10152666766796493_1101307350_n

    Ava & I

    11134220_10152666766826493_1961010313_n

    Birthday Song

    DSC_1710

    My sisters & Ava

    961440_10152666766856493_787685948_n

    Ava & Her Aunt

    DSC_1705

    FABULOUS

    DSC_1740

    GIVE ME MY CAKE

    DSC_1744

    SWEETS

    DSC_1715

    Feast

    DSC_1707

    AVA

    DSC_1702

    Avkin Malavkin

    11145998_10152666767136493_805978013_n

    We had a great time! Ava’s 1st Birthday Festivities have been very successful. What will we do Next Year???

    Share on Facebook4Tweet about this on TwitterPin on Pinterest0Share on Tumblr0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Email this to someone