Spoon Full of Ava

  • millymill | August 16, 2015

    Parenting & Technology


    How much time do you spend with your kid/s?

    Actually spend with them? Sit down on the floor, crawl, run, read, sing, dance, play with your kids. Sitting on the couch on your phone while your kid plays by themselves is not spending time with them. Turning the TV on and sitting with them is not spending time with them. I have noticed that my generation is so sucked into the technology world that they have lost sight of reality. They have lost sight of what is in front of them.

    I take a lot of pictures of Ava but I have a rule for myself. While she is up I keep my conversations to a minimum and my phone is usually in my pocket. I don’t use my laptop when she is up and the TV is off most of the time. Ava will be this age once and I don’t want to miss this time anymore than i have to(I work full time). I don’t want her to think “Mommy is busy on her phone/computer/TV so I can do whatever I want. She’s not paying attention anyways.” Kids observe and take everything in and I don’t want her thinking that is okay. She is my priority and is more important than any text message, web site, show, etc.

    I’ve seen kids tearing the house up while a parent is shopping on their cell phone. I’ve seen kids feeding themselves because a parent is too busy with the TV. I’ve seen too many kids addicted to the TV because their parents have more important things to do.

    Now! Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with using your phone, computer, or watching TV while your kids are near but everything has to have a limit. Kids need to know that you are paying attention to them, you don’t miss a beat, and they are your priority. There is also nothing wrong with kids watching a little TV but there is so much more these active, energized little creatures can be doing.

    I used to be obsessed with my laptop, phone, shows, and all these other distractions from real life. Now days nothing annoys me more than seeing people on their phone, tablet, laptop 24/7. We have to realize that what’s in front of us is much more important than in our “smart phones”.

  • millymill | July 29, 2015

    Our Miscarriage Before Our Biggest Blessing.


    October 2013.
    I’ve already had one appointment at 8 weeks and it went pretty well.
    I was 10 weeks pregnant. Woke up in the morning took Curtis(my husband) to the airport and headed into work. Around noon I got these really sharp pains in my lower abdomen. I headed to the hospital because the pain was not going away and felt like it was only getting worst. They sent me for some tests and did an ultrasound. Until this day I swear I heard a heartbeat but maybe it was wishful thinking. They took me back into the ER room they assigned me and a lady Doctor came in. She said “There are 2 things wrong, the pain is from a cyst that you have on your ovary. The cyst is so big it is pushing your uterus over. The cyst has to be removed. Second thing, you have miscarried which looks like twins, you miscarried about two weeks ago but the pregnancy has not left your body yet.” I remember her saying that to me and my eyes just filled up with tears. I am not good at expressing my feeling out loud especially to those I don’t know. I said “Wow, thank you for letting me know, but now what?” She said we can have everything surgically removed but in a few days.” My cousin was with me in the room and she asked “Are you ok?” I really wasn’t sure but my response was “I will be.”

    They discharged me and sent me home with paid meds which didn’t help one bit. I told Curtis everything via text because I just couldn’t talk about it and didn’t really want to. I remember sitting in CVS’s parking lot and crying thinking “What if I can’t have kids? How unfair would that be to Curtis? What did I do wrong to cause this miscarriage?” I remember texting him back and forth just expressing everything and the worst part was he was far and there was really no point of him flying back home to be with me because there was nothing he or I could have done. All types of thoughts crossed my mind. My two Best Friends and MIL came over that night just to see if I was okay. By the time they came I had pulled myself together, got my crying out of my system and decided to throw my hands up and believe that this is all in God’s plan. For almost a year I would say to myself “Today I would have been 4, 5,6…9 months pregnant”,”The baby would have been born now” etc.

    I remember before getting pregnant I had a dream which is so clear to me until this day. I was in the hospital and I just gave birth, one of my cousins was holding my baby. It was a girl. A beautiful light skinned, dark curly haired girl. Now the part that stood out was, in the dream I wasn’t prepared for her, I remember searching formula isles and trying to find the right formula to give her. I am no dream interpreter but Curtis and I really were not ready for a child during that pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage. We would have made a way but we were not ready to give our child the world and everything he/she deserved. For the next few weeks I would have people ask me “How’s your pregnancy?”, someone even touched my belly without knowing what happened. I am a strong person and I was able to hold uo and tell them “no, there’s no baby. I miscarried.” At the time it was hard to say and I really didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. I erased it from my memory for a long time because it was just easier that way.

    July 5th 2014 we decided to try again and once we knew we were pregnant I was so scared to share the news because I didn’t know what the pregnancy would be like. God blessed us with a Beautiful, Funny, Loving, Amazing baby girl. I appreciate her a 10000% more because of what I’ve went through.

    My reason for talking about it after so long is because I know miscarriages are very common. Some with no reason behind it and others with medical reasons attached. They are both hurtful because it is a loss. Women are more vocal about their experiences, their pain, their state, etc. Where men close up and keep their feeling bottled up.

    Don’t be afraid to talk about it. Cry about it. Just remember time heals all wounds, maybe not all the way but it does. If God takes something/someone from you he has a bigger blessing coming your way.

    Feel free to e-mail me if you are in need of a listening ear. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than the ones closest to you.

  • millymill | June 3, 2015

    Memorial Day Weekend


    I rarely have a week day off. I rarely have a day where I do NOTHING around the house. I knew I wanted to enjoy myself with Ava and friends/family. Curtis had to work this weekend so we were flying solo. Saturday we spent the day with our cousins. Great time! Sunday we spent the day with my parents and my girl friends. Last, Monday we went to this really cool park called Spruce Street Harbor. It’s really cute but was packed!! I went with my cousin and her kids and my gfs met us there. I loved it. One it was time away from house work, and work in general. Two I kept Ava up and she did pretty good. I had an amazing weekend which is making me look forward to this summer!!

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  • millymill | April 13, 2015

    Ava’s Lovely Gifts.








    From Mason, Ilona & John


    I am still trying to get through all of Ava’s gifts. Everything is appreciated and we are so thankful for the time and gifts that were given to us during Ava’s Birthday Celebration month. LOL She got lots of clothes, toys, gift cards, cash, birthday cards, etc.

    We are not and never have been materialistic people. The best gift that Ava has ever received from our family and friends is their love & time.

    Thank you to everyone who thinks of her, loves her and make time for her. Again thank you for all the gifts.


    Teddy: Uncle Rodney (Ava’s dad’s brother) Doll: Ava’s Baby Sitter – Lana

    She loves this elephant and has learned how to climb on him and ride him in a week!! 😀





    Caitlin & Myla & Nicole & Simon


    Caitlin & Myla & Gammy


    Aunt Nicole’s Mom





    Ava’s Uncle Simon (mom’s brother) & Aunt Nicole

    There were a bunch more gifts from Simon & Nicole but we couldn’t wait and had to wear them!!! 😀


    Gammy & PopPop (Dad’s parents)



    Asya & AJ

    I was soooo excited that my grandmom was able to get Ava these books. It is really important to me that our children know the Russian language and books are a great source of education.


    Great G-Mom (Ava’s Mom’s Gmom)


    Grandparents (Ava’s Mom’s parents)