What does Grandparent mean to you?
(Ava with my & Curt’s grandmothers)
Some may say “the world”, some say “eh, i talk to them once in a blue”, some only remember grandparents on Holidays. Sad, but true.
When I was born I had 2 living grandmothers and 1 grandfather. I was 2 years old when my grandfather passed but I can still remember bits and pieces of him being with me.
I remember his green/gray sweater vest he wore and how he always sat at the head of the dinning room table. My mother’s mom lived in Israel when I was born so I only saw her during the summer time when we went to visit. Now my dad’s mom was/is like a mom to me. I can not remember her buying me things or spoiling me but I do remember her taking care of my brother and I from the day we were born. Until this day I make sure to call her at least once a day! She literary dedicated her life to her kids and grand kids.
Now, since I only saw my mom’s mom once a year our relationship was non-existent. Yes, I loved her and cared about her but there was no connection. She spoiled us and sent us gifts and told us stories when we spent the summers with her but still it wasn’t the same.
I do not think my parents could have done anything to make us closer or make us have different types of relationships with our grandparents. Life plays out the way it is supposed to.
My grandmother moved away for her well being and started her new life. Distance usually doesn’t make people closer especially a kid and their grandparent. We were taught to respect, to love, to care for our grandparents but now that I am grown if I don’t want to I don’t have to call my grandmother or go visit her. I choose to. I know who she is, what she has done for me and we just have a good relationship.
As we all grow into adults or just as people we tend to forget about those we love. We get so caught up in our everyday life that sometimes we forget we have amazing grandparents who will be the happiest people alive to hear a “hello, how are you?” from us.
Once a week is more than enough to check in and check on them. If you live close by 5 minutes is all it takes to stop in and say hi. Don’t get me wrong now, the phone does work both ways and it takes 2 to tango! Not to bash grandparents but a lot of them tend to think that their kids and grand kids have to do things their way and on their time.
Let’s be realistic, most of our grandparents are no longer working, and are either hanging out, at a doctor’s appointment or church. Us? Well, no big deal, we are building families, working, going to school, and still trying to maintain somewhat of a social life. Grandparents!!! We have to work together! Again I squeeze in my talk time with my grandmom usually when I am on my way to or from work or when my daughter is sleep and I can really get into how my gmom’s day is going. I enjoy hearing her tell the same stories over and over because I know one day she won’t be here to tell them to me. So, I just listen and respond as if it’s my first time hearing them.
The parents job is to teach their kids to respect their grandparents. I don’t think a parent can make their child love their grandparents just like we can’t make an adult love someone.
It is a relationship that is built with time, energy, ups and downs that builds or breaks a bond.
Grandparents think that buying toys or spoiling kids will make them like them and I strongly disagree! Toys will break, clothes will rip but the time, the lessons, the helping with the upbringing will always leave a mark and make the child appreciate their grandparents.
This is my view on grandparents and the relationship we have with them.