Kids are not Robots

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Children are smaller versions of us. I don’t mean they turn out like us, even though more times than not they do. I mean they are just like adults with mood swings, their own personalities, their own thought process, the list goes on and on. When my daughter first started showing me her Terrible Two’s Tantrums I was not trying to hear anything she had to say because I thought “I am the parent. You are the child. You will do what I say and I don’t want to hear it!”

I started observing her behavior and her reactions to different situations. I came to realize sometimes her attitude comes from missing a nap. Sometimes she is preoccupied with something that she feels is important and to me it didn’t seem important so it was an issue. I am talking and she is focused on this “important” task. Routine and schedule is really important to me as it is to her. I didn’t realize a lot of this until a few weeks ago.

Personally it’s important to be to not just parent like my parents or through advice. I like to do my own research and really get to the core of how to communicate with our kids. Each child is different because as adults we all have our own, individual personalities. They are the same!!! The scary thing about our older daughter is her personality reminds me so much of my own. Her attitude, her independence, her determination, and unfortunately she is stubborn just like I.

Once you study your child and really understand the way they are wired and work life becomes so much easier. It’s easier to talk to them and avoid tantrums or attitudes. Our daughter will understand and accept anything if you explain it to her. For example; today she wanted tortilla chips. I gave her a hand full and as she was eating them she was hysterically asking for more. I told her “No, that’s all!” she started whining until I said “there’s no more left”. The whole mood changed within seconds, she said “Oh! There’s no more?” That was the end of it because she understood why I said no. Communication is important in every relationship, no matter the age.

Something to keep in mind these little babies are growing up. They are turning into little humans and they need to be strong, smart, kind, healthy, and over all good people. When we try and shut them down because it’s not our way(not talking about wrong or right) we are stopping their growth, their development and their independence. I am constantly going back and forth within myself on disciplining, letting her grow, and making sure she is not spoiled.

Kids are not robots and are not meant to be controlled as such. They are a kit, they come with their own pieces and tools. It is up to us, the parents, to teach them how to be put together and the best version of them. It is not our job to create them into who we think they need to be. That’s God’s job. Our job is to raise them, support them, love them, guide them, build them up, and instill good morals and values.

 

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