Mom Shaming

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For the first time in 2 years a mother TRIED to mom-shame me. I can promise you she regrets it now but it doesn’t change how she pissed me off for a slight second.

My daughter is having some sort of an eczema reaction(in my opinion), we will be going to a dr to get it checked out. Being as though it’s late after speaking to a nurse I posted a photo in a Facebook mommy group and you wouldn’t believe the comments that started rolling in. The photo is literally of my daughter’s arm pit and maybe a 3rd of my nail. The photo is very cropped so it’s literally nothing else that you see.

Well, a lot of moms were giving their opinions on what it could be. Which is what I asked for and was totally okay with what they thought or had to say. I am very well aware that most moms are not doctors and will not know what it is. I wanted to hear from moms that have seen this on their own children. Ofcourse some of these “opinions” were on another level but it comes with the territory and I just ignored what I didn’t care about.

Now! Here comes this “fabulous”, “perfect”, “new mom” that says “well obviously this mom is more concerned about getting her nails done than taking care of her child.” Lord have mercy! First and foremost you can’t even tell if my nails are freshly done or have been on for 3 months. (They are a little over a week old) Second, IF I didn’t care for my child I wouldn’t ask what it was and probably just spend my days normally while my daughter had a reaction to something. I started to explain myself to this girl and quickly deleted it because I don’t need to explain myself to anyone.

We all care for ourselves and our children differently than the next mom. I do not believe I am better than a mom who is in sweats, not working, and doesn’t have her nails done. I don’t think I am better because I still try to take care of myself. I do think we all have choices to prioritize our selves along with our children. I have noticed a lot of moms who have given up taking care of themselves try to talk down to moms that do take care of themselves. Then this girl says “oh great you rather work than care for your own child. I decided to stay home and breastfeed.” Little does she know my daughter was breastfed until she was a year old. All while I kept a full time job and took care of myself and my wifely duties. Who am I to tell her I am better? From doing some snooping her daughter is no more than 6 months old and she’s not married. Then she says “I see how happy your family is! Your profile picture is of just you.” That made me giggle, I pray for girls to find the happiness that I have. I pray girls like her get to experience love from their families like I have. I pray this girl gets out of the negative state of mind as fast as she can.

I ended up removing the picture because it was 5 am and I refused to go back and forth with a “Facebook Gangster” when I have to be up for work in a few hours. I write this post to all moms! If you care about your child and you care about your parenting then you are already a great parent. We all have our own ways and our own paths. If I walk my path in heels and you walk yours in slippers it doesn’t mean I am better or you are better. It means that we have different parenting styles, goals, plans. It does not change the amount of love and care we have for our kids.

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2 Comments

  1. Ashley

    March 18, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    Oh my word. This is crazy. And that’s why I can’t even bring myself to join any of the mom groups on facebook! I hope you get your daughter’s skin issue figured out.

    • millymill

      March 18, 2016 at 3:45 pm

      Thank you! I did, she just had an allergic reaction to something. Some mothers are brutal, or angry, I am not sure why. I do know it’s unacceptable!

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